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''Petty's Voice and Vine''
Hi Walt! My name is A. I live in a small town. I'm moving soon to work for a new company & will be managing its sales & marketing department. This job isn't new to me as I love to be in sales & marketing. It's my passion to deal w/ all kinds of clients. The challenge I'm facing right now is my current boss. Before informing him of my plans, he was so good & nice to me--praising all the works I've done for the company. But after telling him that I am moving to another company, he was so upset and now tells customers how bad am I. Isn't that ridiculous? I tried to focus on my new journey & just ignore what he thinks or says. I don't wanna pay attention to whatever bad stuffs he has against me. I tried to be motivated & focus on my goal. I feel disturbed though about the things he might tell to our customers once I start with this new company. But I am confident of myself & the skills I have. How would I handle this?
WALT'S ADVICE: That's a tricky one, R. In a small town like yours, the rumor mills can indeed operate overtime and loudly within everyones earshot. Take comfort, however, in a few things:
First, the fact that your leaving has turned him from supporter to detractor is validation for you that you're doing the right thing. He's revealed a side of his personality and shown that he is capable of harboring the kind duplicitous (two-faced) energy that you need to get far away from. Which one is his true self? Is it the supportive smiler, or the resentful ruiner? An environment where the tide can shift so unpredictably and negatively is not the ideal place for you to become all you are meant to be. So keep moving forward.
Second, people (like your boss) respond to loss and pain in different ways. Your announcement of your departure obviously hurt him in some way that recalled something from his past. You've pushed some button of betrayal, abandonment, or loss of some sort that his juvenile response is evidence of. We don't need to analyze him to discover what it is. But knowing that beneath all attack is a fear of loss of love of some sort, we can take the high road in our responses to people's irrational behavior. There is some sort of reassurance to his own value that you can offer that might help to ease his mind. Perhaps you can have a sit-down talk and simply let him know how important he's been in your growth; how much you value him and all he's done for you; and that your move is nothing personal at all, but just something you feel called to pursue, and that getting his blessing would mean a lot to you. Even offer to train your replacement. If you think from the perspective of "reassuring him that he's ok" you'll find the right words. Don't confuse his response with anything personal that he has against you. It seems he's simply reacting to the loss of something valuable. Show him nothing but love, see him prospering in your absence, and bless him silently in his prayers.
Third, as you said, you are confident in yourself and your skills. You are not and will not be the first person to encounter your boss' double-sided personality. While his opinion in your small town may sway the impressionable, there are many others whom he'll never meet, or who, after experiencing your skills and personality, will come to the conclusion that his lone voice crying in the wilderness is something personal that has nothing to do with you. He doesn't control the world.
So other than a direct confrontation with words of assurance, your best response is no response at all, but simply just elevating yourself above the fray so that the rumor mill doesn't grind you up. In time the effect of this single voice will be overshadowed by the truth of who you really are. Live in a bigger world.
Petty's Voice and Vine
There's not much you can do in life
when Petty comes around
Equipped with fears and falsehoods
in his quest to bring you down
But know this and be free from harm
of petty's means and ways:
Whatever's false and based on fear
is here for numbered days
A vine can only spread so far
with nowhere to take root
With nothing to support its growth
it simply bears no fruit
A choir only gets so loud
with just a single voice
In time the volume dims
for unsustained, it has no choice
And knives can only cut so deep
when blunted by the truth
And trees are never felled by saws
that simply lack the tooth
When petty pleads his case in court
the jury's always stacked
The case of private fiction's
overruled by public fact
So worry not that wealth is lost
by lies that men are told
There's not that many votes around
to sway the public poll
Your best response to Petty
is let petty come and go
He'll tire of the losing game:
he'll have no points to show
Yes, voice and vine can't harm you
keep you down, or break your stride
Take comfort in the fact of this
when truth is on your side
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Walt's Life Rhyme #452
(Petty's Voice and Vine)
© Walt F.J. Goodridge
Originally published: 05-26-2006
''I share what I know,
so that others may grow!''
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