Walt's Life Rhyme #192     Confessions e-Addict    A unique brand of inspiration by Walt F.J. Goodridge! (Originally sent as Walt's Friday Inspirations)
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''Confessions e-Addict''

Thought I would share something a little on the humorous side today. Now is it just me....?
Like many home-based entrepeneurs, I maintain what psychiatric professionals might consider an unhealthy relationship with my internet connection. You see, my computer is on for almost the entire day because it's the lifeline between me and my website. For me, email is not simply the harbinger of the latest joke, hoax, or chainletter. It's not just the newest means to facilitate banal chats with people in the next room or cubicle. No, for me email is a matter of survival. Incoming email indicates that someone may be clicking around on my website, filling out forms and placing orders! In my home-office, email carries with it the urgency of a ringing phone that demands to be answered right away for fear of losing that big order or opportunity.

But even without the promise of potential income, email has become the latest substance of choice for a world in search of its latest fix. It's the drug du jour for people of all ages. I have friends who just six months ago had trouble with the technical aspects of opening the box a computer might arrive in, who now find themselves rushing home in the evenings to see what adventure their inbox holds in store for them. Countless others are finding themselves late for work, neglecting the kids, and finding their social lives becoming curling up on a Friday night with a warm glowing computer screen. It is in this spirit of depraved dependence that I offer the world my...

ODE TO "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
(Confessions of an email addict) Version 2.0

NOTE: Non-AOL users may substitute the appropriate chime, bell, flasher or other appropriate indicator of incoming email.

I hear it in the bedroom
when I'm dozing off at night
It might mean someone likes me
'cause they took the time to write

I hear it in the shower
lathered up and soaking wet
and yes, I rush out dripping
(how addicted can you get?)

I even hear it sometimes
in the silence before dawn
and that's some scary stuff
because the thing ain't even on!

I wasn't this obsessed at first
quite normal I would say
But now it's at the point
I sometimes sit and wait all day

They say that I'm addicted
like some junkie hooked on crack
well that would mean I couldn't stop
you hear that? ..Be Right Back

Oh that? Oh it was nothing
just some silly old chain letter
said send to everyone you know
so Susie will get better

And others say get help
as if I'm strung out on cheap wine
I do this only socially
I'll stop at any time

It's not as if I'm gullible
or fall for each new hoax
I forward things of value
ok?...and just a few good jokes

I never know what to expect
the fortune that it brings
I treat it like a phone call
that gets answered when it rings

Now am I crazy or is this
a normal human quirk?
I sometimes send things to myself
to make sure it still works

At other times when dressed
and almost halfway out the door
I'll swear I hear it, run back in
and check it just once more!

How thrilling now to hear that sound
its pull I can't resist
It's constant validation:
someone knows that I exist!

It's something that I yearn for
day and night now without fail
no other feeling quite compares
to hearing "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"


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Walt's Life Rhyme #192
(Confessions e-Addict)
© Walt F.J. Goodridge
Originally published: 06-01-2001
''I share what I know,
so that others may grow!''

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